The Best Season Ever

Yesterday, I took another trip up to State College to see the last Penn State game of the season.  That meant I had to set my alarm for 5:30AM on a Saturday, spend nearly 7 hours in the car going up there and back, and stand outside in the bitter cold for almost 8 hours.  Needless to say, it was a wonderful day.  Let me give you three reasons why.

• First, is there any kind of party better than a tailgate party?  I don't think so.  At a tailgate party, you can wear thermal underwear, show it to everyone else, and have them look at you with envy.  You can eat fried chicken with gloves on your hands.  Best of all, as long as you bring your own trash bag, someone else hauls your party trash away.  That's my kind of party.
• Second, Nick hosted me in the student section again.  We were in Row 3, in the southeast corner of the end zone.  When I turned around to look at the crowd of people surrounding me, there wasn't anyone in sight who was within 20-25 years of my age.  The fact that Nick thinks it's fun to have me there with him in that crowd is the coolest thing ever for a father.  Getting on TV -- and the in-stadium big screen -- with him was the capper.
• Third, it was so much fun to root for this Penn State team this year.  Seeing them win in overtime last night was just incredible.  I'm not going to climb back up on my soap box and give you a speech about my feelings about Penn State, Joe Paterno, and the NCAA (check the blog archives if you want to re-hash all that; I'm sure you'll find a couple entries).  Instead, I'm just going to focus on how this team of young men accomplished so much and did it with such character.  They found themselves in a situation that they did not create.  I've often taken the easy path in life.  The reason why is simple -- it's not called the easy path for nothing.  These young men could have done the same.  But, they didn't.  When they gathered in our corner of the end zone to sing the alma mater at the end of the game and ring the Victory Bell (thiry-one of them for the last time in their Penn State careers), the joy on their faces was so awesome to see.  They'd stuck with it, staying true to themselves and to their teammates.  I am so happy for them.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Yesterday, I drove up to State College to see the Penn State - Indiana game.  Hannah had come home earlier in the week but Nick was still up there, waiting for my arrival.  I didn't want to pay for tailgate parking so I decided to drive the Corolla so I could take advantage of Hannah's parking spot outside her building.

I left the house at 6AM.  The Corolla doesn't have Sirius XM and I had decided not to take my iPod.  That meant I was all alone with nothing but FM radio.  Normally, that would be a bad thing as I've grown to hate commercial interruptions.  But, yesterday, I decided to make lemonade out of lemons.  With all that time in the car by myself, I figured it was my chance to find out once and for all if I can actually sing.

I think that most people -- including me -- think they have good singing voices.  But, why do we think that?  Have we taken lessons with a voice coach and received positive feedback?  Did we try out for the school musical in high school and get the lead role?  Have we ever been stopped at a red light with the windows down, belting out the tune on the radio, and had the person in the car next to us yell over "That sounds great!"

I think the answer to all three questions for the vast majority of us is "No."  But, that hasn't stopped us from thinking that we really can sing.  Take me for example.  Give me a couple drinks in a bar with a willing band, and I'll grab the microphone, convinced that everyone else there has been dying to hear my voice.  Put me in front of "American Idol" and I'll sing along with the contestants, ending each performance with "This time I mean it -- I really am better than that."

That was what I was thinking yesterday morning when I decided to put things to the test.  "Let's see if I really can sing," I said to myself.  I tuned to DC-101 and started the experiment.  The first song up was "Creep" by Stone Temple Pilots.  That seemed like a pretty fair test.  Scott Weiland is no Karen Carpenter.  He sings in a key that's reasonably close to my comfort zone.  There are no vocal gymnastics involved.  I felt pretty confident I'd end up confirming that I really can sing.

Now, most of the time when I sing along to a song, I don't really commit to it.  I sing softly, switch between alto and tenor, and rely on my falsetto for any high notes.  Not this time.  I sang loudly, with passion, from start to finish.  I picked a key and I stuck with it.  And, you know what?  I sounded pretty darn bad.  It sounded like shouting, with periodic cracks along the way.

It's now been over 24 hours since I realized that I really can't sing.  I thought it would feel bad.  But, it's actually liberating.  The whole rest of the way up to State College, I sang as loudly as I wanted.  I didn't care who could see me from the other cars or what I sounded like.  I used my falsetto on "Madness" by Muse and didn't feel the least bit guilty.  I spoke-sang with Ke$ha on "Die Young" and laughed at myself when the song ended.  I growled through "Sweet Child o' Mine" by Guns N' Roses.  I sounded terrible.  And I loved it.

Something New

So, Hannah's friend started a blog.  She and Kim tried to read it today only to find it had so much traffic that the site shut down.

When she told me that, you know how I felt?  Awful, of course.  Awful and also competitive.  A blog with so much activity that it crashes?  Shouldn't I be able to do that?

I know what you're thinking.  Does everything in life have to be a competition?  I'm going to answer "yes."  And, even I have to admit that this place was starting to get pretty stale.

We'll see how things go.

Bureaucracy

Jay is taking a government class this year in school.  Every once in a while, he brings up something that they're studying.  About a week ago, he asked "What's a bureaucracy?"  How I wish I didn't know the answer.

According to Webster's, the word bureaucracy has a couple of different definitions.  My favorite is "a system of administration marked by red tape, officialism, and proliferation."  But, when Jay asked the question, I tried to give him a simpler answer.  I told him that a bureaucracy is an organization that has lots of rules and plenty of people who seem to be there only to remind you of those rules. 

Ever since Jay asked me what a bureaucracy is, I feel like I've been stuck in the bowels of one.  Perhaps it's because it's getting close to year-end, with performance reviews, budgets, and financial close-out's high on everyone's radar.  In any event, I am not a happy camper.  It seems like every other e-mail I get at work is asking me to fill out this form or that form, complete this grid or that grid, or remember to check this box or that box.  I've had it.

Just now, I got two e-mails from an otherwise perfectly nice lady at work.  She was asking me to do something that someone else had just asked me to do, only she wanted me to do it slightly differently.  I'm sorry -- that's not happening.

After a couple of seconds of consideration, I decided to delete her two e-mails.  In fact, I hit the delete key pretty darn hard when I deleted them.  Now, I'm going to pretend that I never got them.  Yes, I know from the examples of David Petraeus, Paula Broadwell, and Jill Kelley that deleting e-mails doesn't really make them go away.  But, as long as the FBI doesn't come after me, maybe I can get away with it.

The Real Reasons Selena Gomez and Justin Beiber Broke Up

I spent all day yesterday trying come to grips with the devastating news that Selena Gomez had broken up with Justin Beiber.  What a shocking turn of events.  It seems like just yesterday that Selena was declaring how she loved Justin like a love song (baby) while Justin was renting out the Staples Center so that he and Selena could have a private viewing of Titanic.  Now, it's all over.

I wonder what happened.  My guess is that it was a combination of things that finally pushed Selena over the edge:

• First, she realized that it's not a good thing when your boyfriend has better hair -- and skin -- than you do.  It's also not good when you can bench more than him.
• Next, Scooter Braun is annoying.
• Finally, when your boyfriend is tweeting pictures of himself with Victoria's Secret models (after asking them for their numbers), he may just not be that into you.

It's going to take me a little while to get over this news.  Thank God Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 is coming out soon to help take my mind off all this.

What Did Mitt Romney Do Today?

As I headed in to work this morning, I started to think about Mitt Romney.  The poor guy's been running for President since 2006.  For the better part of six years, he's been campaigning, raising money, and planning for that day when he would finally take over the White House.  And, it's not like he was doing that 8 hours a day and 5 days a week.  It's been non-stop for him, with every single waking moment completely devoted to becoming President.  Now, it's all over.  He's done. 

So, that got me thinking.  What in the world would Mitt do today?  I tried to imagine it.  It couldn't have been a good day.

• He had to know that everytime his phone rang or he got a new text, it was going to be someone saying how badly they felt that things didn't work out for him.  But, no one was going to follow that up with a "You'll get it right next time" because everyone knows that there's not going to be a next time.  It's not like 2008, when he conceded in the primaries but had to know he'd get another shot.
• Did he turn on the television?  I wouldn't have.  I mean, that would be like watching "The Final Drive" on BTN after the Penn State - Ohio State game.  Who wants to be reminded of such misery?
• Did he go outside and face the world?  Think about it -- losing the electoin is kind of like getting the stadium folks to put your marriage proposal on the big screen at half-time only to have the girl say "No, thanks."  Hearing the answer is bad.  Having the rest of the stadium hear it, too, is even worse.  That's what Mitt just went through.
• What did he and Ann talk about over coffee this morning?  OK, I know, they don't drink coffee.  But, you know what I mean.  Did she sit there and ask him "Now what?"  Or, did they just sit there in silence, each of them asking themselves that question?

You know, maybe none of this happened.  Maybe he woke up and said "Well, I tried my best."  Maybe he said "I'm glad I gave it another shot."  Or, maybe he just said "Thank God.  What was I thinking anyway?"  I'm going with that last one.

Lessons from the 2012 Election

I'm trying to watch election results as they come in this evening.  It's a struggle.  So far, the main thing I've learned is that Wolf Blitzer has a new pair of designer eyeglasses.  Oh, and it's possible to project a winner in a state like South Carolina even though only 1% of the votes have been reported.

Quite frankly, I'd like to see Lee Corso sitting at the desk with Wolf.  In true College Game Day fashion, Lee could make his prediction by pulling out a giant stuffed Romney or Obama head and putting it on to declare the winner.  That, I would watch til the end.

So, what did I learn during this election cycle?  For me, there were three key things:

• First, the primaries are the best part of the election.  Frankly, they don't last nearly long enough.  Why?  Because the primaries are when all the crazies come out to play.  Don't you miss Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain?  I know I do.  To be honest, I even miss Newt Gingrich a little bit.
• For local races like the school board election, if your name is first on the ballot, you're much more likely to get my vote.  I'm not proud to admit it.  But, it's the truth.  Sorry Janet Siddiqui.
• I may actually have to give up network television by 2016.  The political commercials are going to do it for me.  Thankfully, ESPN, Investigation: Discovery, the Big Ten Network, Bravo, and HGTV don't show any.  If they did, I'd definitely be up the creek.

Discount Double Check, Meet Mayhem

Will someone please explain to me America's fascination with Aaron Rogers and the discount double check?  Those State Farm commercials aren't funny -- they're just plain annoying.  In fact, I've even started to talk back to the television whenever I see one.  Yes, I know that's pathetic.  But, I now find myself yelling for them to just go away.  Clearly, I'm in the minority, though, since they seem to be on television constantly and State Farm keeps rolling out new ones. 

Perhaps I should introduce the discount double check to Mayhem.  Mayhem is the completely awesome star of Allstate's commercials.  Whether he's masquerading as a raccoon, a hot babe out jogging, a satellite dish, or (in his most recent incarnation) a multi-tasking teen-age boy who's supposed to be mowing the lawn, Mayhem is always funny.  Better yet, he's destructive, leaving a trail of carnage behind him wherever he goes.  I've got to get him onto one of those State Farm sets.

Purgatory

When I last posted on Monday night, I was hunkered down, waiting for Hurricane Sandy's imminent arrival.  When we went to bed that evening, it had already been raining forever and the winds were starting to pick up speed.  We decided to sleep in the basement, thinking we'd be safer there when the big huge pine tree in the front yard (the one that I've refused to have cut down) got uprooted and fell into the house.

So, downstairs we went.  I hopped into one of the two twin beds in our spare bedroom and tried to will myself to sleep.  It took a little while since, not only was I unable to spoon, I also didn't have my flannel sheets.  I shivered pathetically on my own, hugged myself, and finally fell asleep.

At some point, I woke up.  It was pitch dark.  I lifted my head to see what time it was and saw that the clock was dead.  The power was out.  I cursed audibly and put my head back down on the pillow (which, quite honestly, was way too big and fluffy for my liking).  There I lay for the rest of the night, waiting for the crack of dawn.

What do you do while you're lying in bed in the dark while the power is out?  You want to know what I thought about?  I spent the entire time reliving the Penn State - Ohio State game from two nights earlier.  "What if Matt McGloin had completed that first long pass to Allen Robinson?"  Certain victory.  "What if Stephen Obeng-Agyapong had made that pick six in the first quarter?"  Even more certain victory.  "What if the official hadn't called that phantom holding call on Brad Bars in the second quarter?"  Complete domination, of course.  On and on it went.

After spending what seemed like an interminable amount of time revisiting my Penn State disappointment, I finally got out of bed.  I walked upstairs, found my cell phone, and saw that it was 5AM.  I peeked out the dining room window and saw that the pine tree hadn't fallen.  I should have been happy, right?  Not me.  I just cursed again, thinking of how I could have slept in my flannel sheets after all.

For two more hours, I paced.  Literally.  First floor.  Upstairs.  Repeat.  It all started to remind me of Hannah's infancy, when we thought that she had to fall asleep in our arms before we could put her to sleep in her crib.  Round and round I'd walk around our small house, covering every square foot and praying to God that she'd soon fall asleep.  Invariably, she'd trick me by slowing her breathing and convincing me that I could put her down.  I'd get excited, creep to her crib, lean over and start to place her on the blanket.  "Waahh," she'd cry and back to pacing I'd go.

Finally, it started to get light.  It was still rainy and windy outside.  And, there was still no power.  But, with the light, the Penn State demons and the pacing stopped.  For a little while, at least. 

P.S.  This was a very hard post to write.  Why?  Because I don't know if I was lying in bed thinking or laying in bed thinking?  I think I was lying in bed thinking but I can't be absolutely sure.  Hopefully, I got it right.  I know some of you out there will comment if I got it wrong.