OK, I know we need passwords. I get that security is important. But, enough already!
Let's review the password requirements at work:
System | # of Characters | Character Type(s) | Updates |
Network login #1 | 20 | Alpha | Never |
Network login #2 | 8 | Alpha / Numeric | Every 60 days |
Time entry | 6 | Alpha / Numeric / Symbols | Every 60 days |
Intranet | 8 | Alpha / Numeric | Every 90 days |
Voice mail | 6 | Numeric | Every 60 days |
Travel arrangements | 8 | Alpha / Numeric | Every 60 days |
AmEx | 8 | Alpha / Numeric | Never |
Men’s room | 3 | Numeric | Never |
Parking reimbursement | 8 | Alpha / Numeric | Never |
Where's the consistency? Why are they all different lengths and formats? Why can't they all require updates on the same day? Can you believe I need a table just to keep this straight?
So, I have an idea. I used to love the old Password game show (I watched it in college quite a bit). Betty White was always my favorite celebrity guest and she always gave the absolute best clues. I'm going to call her and ask her to create a password application for people like me. First, we'll "borrow" the logic behind all those password reminder systems that credit card companies use for online payment. Next, we'll have Betty record a couple of simple questions that can be used to remind me of my password. Then, when it's time for me to log into one of those systems at work and I've forgotten my password, I'll just launch the app, name the system with the password I've forgotten, and Betty's voice will prompt me:
- "Favorite sibling," she'll say. That's easy, I'll think. It's ________.
- "Year of birth of favorite child," she'll then prompt. Yes, that would be ____.
- Finally, she'll say "The symbol above the number on the keyboard that represents the number of dogs you wish you had." Of course. That would be _.