Here's the press release Kim issued: “After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.”
Let's take this one sentence at a time:
- "After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage." As Chad Ochocinco would say, "Child, please." Careful consideration? Kim, you were married for 72 days! I'm pretty sure I gave more careful consideration to whether or not I should break up with my 7th-grade girlfriend. (For the record, I decided to stick it out. That paid off in spades. A few days later, she sent one of her friends over to tell me that she was breaking up with me.)
- "I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision." Yes, Kim, I understand. You must be terribly exhausted from all that really hard thinking stuff that you had to do to come to this decision. Why don't you go take a nap.
- "I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don't work out as planned." Kim, I know exactly what you mean. It's kind of like in "Legally Blonde" when Elle Woods went to Harvard to follow Warner, only to find out that Warner already had a new girlfried. Poor Elle. Her dreams were dashed. Wait -- what's that? "Legally Blonde" wasn't a true story? I'm sorry.
- "We remain friends and wish each other the best." Let me help you out here, Kim. Remember that girlfriend I had in 7th-grade? Guess what? We're not still friends.
