I'm So Glad I'm Not on Probation

I got my Lindsay Lohan fix this morning while eating my morning cereal.  Apparently, Lindsay failed to show up on time Thursday for her scheduled community service at the L.A. County morgue.  So, she got sent home.

Luckily for Lindsay, this doesn't count as a probation violation so she remains a free woman.  Unluckily for Lindsay, this triggered a whole new round of Lindsay-bashing:

• We got to see pictures of Lindsay being led from the courtroom in handcuffs earlier this week.  Poor thing.
• We got to hear criticisms of the make-up she was wearing in that very same courtroom.  I thought she looked fine.
• Best of all, we got a close-up still shot of her two front teeth.  That close-up accompanied the commentary about how she desperately needed dental work to "fix" the yellowing that was apparent.

Good Lord, I thought.  Can you imagine what would happen if Lindsay and I switched places?  My teeth (all 32 of them) would give the media fodder for a full week's worth of news.  They're not only yellow, they're also big and crooked.  That's a good enough reason to keep walking the straight and narrow.

Anyway, Lindsay's a mess but I still feel bad for her.  For me, she'll always be Anna Coleman in "Freaky Friday."  What an awesome movie.  I can't not watch when I stumble across it on TV.  Mark Harmon is perfectly uptight.  Jamie Lee Curtis is perfectly wacky.  Chad Michael Murray is perfectly dreamy.  And Lindsay is just perfectly perfect.  Or, at least, she was.