Life in the Sardine Can

Have you ever played limbo on an airplane?  I just did 5 minutes ago.  I needed to get up to go to the bathroom four hours into our transatlantic flight home.  The idiot seated in front of me (just like the idiot sitting next to him), has his seat reclined all the way back while he snoozes away.  That means that his seat back is just 15 inches from my forehead as I type this.  No matter how disgusted I am with his lack of proper airplane etiquette, I purposely didn’t grab his seat back as I got myself out of my seat.  I didn’t want to stoop to his level.  Doesn’t he know that you’re really never supposed to put your seat all the way back?  Trust me – Miss Manners even says so.

I don’t think anyone likes it when the person in front of them on an airplane puts his seat all the way back.  Why, then, do some people think it’s OK for them to do just that?  I think it’s one of two reasons:

• They’re from the “Everyone else is doing it, so why shouldn’t I?” school.  I don’t get this one at all.  We all had mothers.  All of our mothers taught us the fallacy of this line of thinking when they countered our requests for a later curfew, a chance to hang out at a friend’s when no parents were home, or an expensive pair of sneakers with their “And if everyone else was going to jump off of a bridge, would you do it, too?” argument.  As much as I hated that argument, I have to admit that it’s hard to beat it.
• They’re from the school that believes in the mantra  “The only thing that matters in this world is me.”  I have an even harder time with these people.  Can you really not be at all concerned about what others think?  Are you that callous that it doesn’t cross your mind?

The two guys in front of us really take the cake.  Less than 10 minutes into the flight, we heard “whoop” and their chair backs were right in our faces.  I groaned but said nothing.  After putting up with that for about an hour, I couldn’t take anymore.  Despite Kim telling me not to do it, I shook the chair back of the guy in front of her and said “Hey, buddy, how about putting your chair upright?”  I got an “OK, OK” response and he relulctantly complied.  I think that made the guy in front of me feel guilty and he did the same.

That bought us an hour of comfort (as best as it can be described when you're sitting in economy class on Aer Lingus).  But, then, I guess my inconsiderate traveling companions felt that they’d done enough penance.  “Whoop” went their seats again.  I shook my head, reached down to grab the computer (bumping my head in the process, or course), and started to type this missive.

Earlier, I wrote that I didn’t want to stoop to the level of the guys in front of me.  OK, I lied.  The guy on the aisle (that would be the one in front of me) got on the flight late and had to store his luggage in the over head bin a couple rows back.  He’s smoking crack if he thinks I’m going to let him go back there to retrieve it before I deplane.  And, if the guy sitting inside him on the window has to wait as well, so be it.  They look awfully comfortable in their seats.  I’m sure they won’t mind sitting in them just a bit longer.

P.S.  I wrote this on the plane.  Unfortunately, twenty minutes before we landed at Dulles, the guy who was sitting in front of me jumped up, went to the back, retrieved his bag, and then found a spot for it up in the front of the plane.  Once he had his bag safely stowed up front, he came back to his seat, moved it back to the straight upright position (yes, he left it fully reclined while he retrieved his bag!), and sat there til we landed.  As soon as we were at the gate, he hopped up and quickly moved forward.  I was not a happy camper.  For hours, I'd planned my revenge.  I never got a chance to execute that plan.  What a disappointment.