What Katie Holmes Is Thinking Right Now

Now that Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, she's finally free to speak her mind.  Luckily for me (and you), I have the inside scoop on what she's thinking right now.  That's because she decided to get away from the paparazzi by hanging out at our house.  Smart girl, that Katie.

Right now she's hanging out in our kitchen, drinking an iced coffee, and randomly shouting out her thoughts about life post-Tom.  Here's what I've heard just in the past 5 minutes.

• "Why did I let him convince me to name her Suri?  The poor thing.  I'm just going to start calling her Joey."
• "Thank God I can finally wear heels again."
• "The only bad thing about this was that I was so close to having AARP Magazine delivered to my house for free."
• "This probably blows my chances of ever getting to the cleared theta clear status.  Oh, well."
• "Tom really can't handle the truth, which is that he's short, old, and has a crazy smile."

I told Katie she can stay as long as she'd like.