I'm not the world's greatest father -- far from it, I'm sure. I try to do my best, make mistakes, swear I'm going to learn from them, but then find myself doing the same thing over again.
A good case in point would be my habit of giving life advice to Nick. He particularly likes to remind me of two of my attempts to teach him some lessons during our trip to London and Paris a couple years ago. The first came on the Tube in London. We were on the train and an American girl, probably about 20 years old, came on with a guy. She carried on and on about how loopy she'd gotten the night before, what they should do tonight, what she should wear, who amongst their circle of friends was most annoying, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All of this was done in a voice loud enough for the whole car to hear. I don't think the guy said one word. When they finally got off the train, I turned to Nick and asked him if he'd thought about the type of girl he wanted to marry. Before he could answer, I said "Just don't marry that girl."
Later on in the trip, we were wandering around Paris, headed to the Louvre. I was leading the way but I wasn't sure we were headed in the right direction. Soon enough (and without me saying anything), Kim figured that out and asked if I knew where we were going. I said "Yes" and kept plodding along, with the whole family in tow. Of course, I had the Paris street map in my coat pocket but I didn't want to pull it out because that would admit both defeat and the fact that we were tourists. Finally, Kim asked again and I broke down. I pulled out the map, handed it over to her, and she quickly got us back on track. Trying to save my dignity, I pulled Nick aside and told him "Always walk with a purpose." He still quotes that one to me.
Anyway, my advice to Nick invariably leads to Kim giving me one of her patented "are you crazy?" expressions before telling him to please not listen to me. It happened again tonight. It's prom season and Nick and his friends are starting to line up their prom dates. Around here, you can't just go to prom with your date. You have to have a party at someone's house with a whole huge group of people and then head off to prom. So, you have to figure out who's hosting the party, who to invite, how many people can fit in the limo, and -- worst of all -- how to deal with the fact that you're inviting someone to the party (let's call her Janey) and Janey knows someone else you're inviting to the party who is going to prom with someone that Janey just can't stand. It's a big production.
The problem is, the girls always want to plan the whole night. This is a problem. High school girls are prone to indecisiveness, petty jealousies, and frequent changes in their alignment of friends. I know this because I had a daugher in high school once and I paid attention. So, I decided to share this wisdom with Nick. I told him that he should plan the party, have it at our house, and invite who he wanted to invite. I said "Take control. You know what you want -- do it your way." Before he could even respond, Kim walked across the kitchen with a smile on her face, took my face in her hands, gave me a kiss, and said "You are so sweet." What she meant was "Nick, your father is dead wrong. He doesn't understand women and he definitely doesn't understand high school girls. Ignore him at all costs."
So, Jay will be doing this same thing in 3 more years. Think I can get it right by then?
This is where the magic happens.
