Last week, I read an article in the New Yorker that said that scientists had demonstrated, through DNA testing, that all non-Africans have traces of Neanderthal DNA. The traces range from 1% to 4%. That sounds small but, in the face of Hurricane Irene, I've found that every little bit helps.
We've been without power since just after midnight early Sunday morning. Having no electricity is a bit of a problem. The food in your refrigerator starts to go bad, you can't watch television, and your wireless router doesn't work. Worst of all, when you're reliant on a well, you can't get any water. That's not a good thing.
Irene was pretty bad early Sunday morning. I lay in bed, listening to the wind and rain hit the house. Right after midnight, the power went off. I didn't think much of that since we've never lost power for more than a few hours, even in the midst of those monster snowstorms a few winters back. As I lay there, waiting to see if the big pine tree in the front yard would snap and crash into the house, I also waited for the power to come back.
By 6:15AM, the storm seemed to have died down a bit but the power wasn't back. I got out of bed and went to the window to assess the damage. The pine was still standing but one of our huge tulip poplars had snapped in half and managed to land directly on the neighbors' driveway. Thinking it was too early to get out the chain saw, I decided to go for a walk and see what else had happened in the neighborhood. First, though, I got a Post-It note and stuck it on the seat of the boys' toilet (yes, the seat was down -- what good boys we have) telling them to go to the bathroom outside when they woke up. Then I went outside and set an example for them.
As I walked through the neighborhood in the rain, I saw only one more downed tree. By the time I got back to our house at 7:15AM, the neighbors were already out with a handsaw cutting up the smaller limbs on the tree. They were desperate for coffee and wanted to get out to get some. I just don't understand the coffee fixation. I helped them clear a path on their drive and away they went.
After they left, I got out the chain saw to cut up the rest of the tree. It didn't take too long. It was still raining and the wind was still blowing. I was wet and covered with sap and sawdust. It was then that I remembered that I wasn't going to be able to shower. Oh, well. Now that I was a mess, I figured I might as well keep on working. I decided to figure out what trees were the next most likely to fall across their drive. I found three more, cut them down, chopped most of them up, and then my chain saw started acting up so I had to quit.
By this point it was a little after 10AM and I was pretty much a mess. I was certain Kim wouldn't want me back in the house. Trying to figure out how to clean myself up, I headed back to visit the facilities in the woods behind the house. That's when it came to me -- "What would Katniss do?" I remembered I was wearing a bandana. I knew there must be puddles in our driveway since there always are. I decided to give myself a sponge bath in the driveway. I peeled off my boots, socks, and shirt and yanked off my bandana. I soaked it in a puddle and got started. Face, hands, arms, armpits, neck, legs. I got a pretty good rhythm going -- soak, scrub, wring out, repeat. I had this Neanderthal thing down pretty well.
I'd like to tell you that I fully embraced my inner Neanderthal yesterday. The reality, though, is that modern man's DNA took over again. You see, I don't like being dirty and I just wasn't clean enough. By nightfall, we'd checked into a hotel so I could take a real shower.
We're back home and are doing our best not to head back to a hotel. Now they're saying that the power won't be back on til Friday. Should be a fun week.
This is where the magic happens.
