About one week after I bought them, I got up to go running. It was a Saturday morning about 7:15AM. I walked downstairs and was standing in the kitchen, putting on my sweats, hat, and gloves before heading outside. Just before I went out, Kim came downstairs with the dogs. When Kim first wakes up in the morning, she's much like anyone else. In other words, it takes a few minutes for her to really wake up. She doesn't usually say much, yawns a couple times, and works at getting the cobwebs out of her head. That morning was a bit different. She walked into the kitchen, took one look at my new sneakers, and burst out laughing. Here's why:
OK. They're black. And they have bright red shoelaces. But, they're functional. What else matters?
Anyway, I share this with you as evidence of my qualifications to provide my feedback on last night's Golden Globes fashions. Here are the highlights.
- The "Oh My God -- Is That A Human?" Award - Tilda Swinton, in the night's biggest upset. Nicole Kidman had won this award 8 years in a row before. Poor Nicole.
- The "Watch Out Nicole and Tilda, I'm Catching Up to You" Award - Julianne Moore.
- The "Most Frightening Trend" Award - Bright red lipstick. Now, we know that bright red can work (see my sneakers, above). But, that might be the only thing on which it works. Angelina Jolie was one of the biggest offenders.
- The "Look, Normal-Looking People Are Also Invited to the Party" Award - Tina Fey.
- The "Are Extremely Thin Arms Still In?" Award - Angelina Jolie.
- The "Can You Believe I'm Here?" Award and the "Who's George Clooney's Date This Year?" Awards - Stacy Keibler. Lucky girl.
- The "What the Hell Happened?" Award - Charlize Theron. Sorry, Charlize.
- The "OK, She Actually Looks Good" Award - Rachel Berry. I mean, Lea Michelle.
