Observations From the Streets of Baltimore

Yesterday was the Baltimore Running Festival.  Once again, I ran the half-marathon.  It was a beautiful day and, thankfully, things went well.

Every year, it seems like more and more people out on the course are wearing headphones and listening to music while they run.  I don't do that.  On a course like Baltimore's, there are always plenty of distractions.  Here's a sampling of a few of them from yesterday.

• Between miles 1 and 2, as you're running down Broadway, you pass an X-rated theater.  I've run the race for the past 4 years.  The first year, I was just stunned to see that X-rated theaters are still in existence.  I kind of thought they went out of business shortly after Pee-Wee Herman had his "incident" in one over twenty years ago.  I guess not.  Anyway, each year, I look forward to seeing if the theater is still open for business.  In case you're wondering, it is.
• Between miles 4 and 6, you run through some pretty rough neighborhoods.  I've spent plenty of time in Baltimore over the past two dozen years and the only times I've ever been in that part of the city is during the race.  There are lots of cops out on the course, primarily directing traffic and maintaining road closures.  Most of them are stone-faced and don't even acknowledge the runners.  This year, there was a noticeable exception as we ran down Madison Street.  As I approached the cop, I could hear him calling out a greeting to all the runners.  "Hey, runners.  You think you have it bad?" he shouted to us.  "I have to patrol these streets."  That actually made me laugh.
• One of the best ways to pass the time is to read the signs that spectators are holding.  Many of these are pretty standard, like little kids holding signs that say "Go, Mom."  But, there are always some clever ones.  This year, my favorites were "Run if you think I'm hot" and "Today: Baltimore Marathon.  Tomorrow: 'Law & Order' Marathon."
• Just before mile 8, an older woman was out on the side of the road with a megaphone.  She was singing the theme from "Rocky" in a very shaky soprano voice.  "Da-da da-da-da da-da-da da-da-da. Da-da da-da-da da-da-da da-da-da.  Da da-da da da-da-da-da, da-daaaaa.  Da-da daaaa.  Da-da daa."  That was it.  Over and over.  As Jay would say, she was horrifically horrifying.  I picked up my pace to put her behind me.
• During mile 9, I was running along, minding my own business.  All of a sudden, from just behind me, I heard a fellow runner start singing.  It was a man's voice.  "Risin' up, back on the street.  Did my time, took my chances."  I turned my head to see who it was.  It was a very regular looking guy, just about my age.  He had head phones on and he was very into his Survivor.  I started to laugh at him but then I realized that he was passing me.  He kept on going, distancing himself from me, singing "Eye of the Tiger" all the way.  I never caught back up to him.

Of all the things I saw, though, the absolute best is the furious motorists.  It's the same thing every year.  Streets are closed all over the city while the race is run.  That seems to really annoy a lot of people.  As you run, you get to pick up slices of the same "conversation" playing out throughout the city.  Indignant drivers are yelling at the cops about how they need to get across the street, how no one told them that the streets were going to be closed, and demanding that they be let across the street.  I've yet to see a driver win that argument.